whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
