there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
