You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I cut my penus on the lid.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Randomize
