to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
