Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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