oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
