Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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