oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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