Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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