He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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