I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
