Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
