dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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