Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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