i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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