I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
