You're my little dorito
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
