Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Randomize
