ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
whose parrot is this?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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