The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
