what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize