unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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