Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
