SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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