If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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