my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I need a burrito and a hug.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Randomize
