i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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