I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
