Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
