Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
