I can feel you judging me through the phone.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize