i need an iv and a liver transplant
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I think your dad took our porno
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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