better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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