My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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