Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize