dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
