I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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