he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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