I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
