You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Randomize
