Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
