WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
