Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Is Oprah even human
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
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