I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
