Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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