Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
