Define "chronic" masturbator.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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