No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Randomize
