Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
