she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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