I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
