those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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