Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm way too hungover for life right now
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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