Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
my poor anus
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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