Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
