Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
