They should really pass out barf bags in church
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
