just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
