I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
