she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize