I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Sorry my hands just texted you
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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