Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
