did you get engaged???
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
