okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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