what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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