I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize